Escapeless...
I realize that everyday my life in this hostel is just mainly spending most of time in my room, at this small table and space of mine, facing this square square laptop’s screen and wandering aimlessly to the world wide web through this little screen…then only after some time, forcing myself to open the books and struggling to study them for the sake of tomorrow’s classes… and this cycle goes on and on and on in the same way…
And then everyday rushing from one place to another place… facing same group of people but still feeling there is an invisible distance with them… and enduring same dull yet less productive classes…
Initially, I thought the study method and system here would be more creative and lively, but time after time it seems that here is just as worse as Malaysia…When we are trying to achieve the necessity of current life which is marks of all kinds of exams and tests, we lose ourselves, lose creativity and bravery to try, but just go for the safest way, apply only what is demanded by scheme, memorizing like hell and after that, get a feel of emptiness…
Most lecturers here just give a list of questions for self-study…and then we prepare the notes ourselves and present or answer them in the next class… After all, they never give explanation and even worse, we never know whether our answers and concepts are actually correct or not… In the end, people who study here may tend to think that what they know is everytime absolutely correct and if uncontrol, they might become boastful and over confident…
Some teachers’ English standards are just poor and it seems that they never get and understand what we answer to them… To impress them and make them to think that your answer is correct and you are ‘smart’, the only way is by talking English very fast, fluently and confidently, even though you crap till Holland or anywhere else la… Therefore, in short, it means that you have to be FAKE… fake in pretending that you are so confident even though you actually don’t know the exact answer or anything…
Eventually, I have to adapt and force myself to go into this kind of style too, just for the necessity of life, but not the desire of life… But it really just gives an empty feeling in the end as if we actually know nothing…
Nevertheless, knowledge and skills determines the standard of any person in any field, but not the mark or grade that come from nothing in classes… But when we can have neither both of them nor the first one which apparently is most important, our only choice is to hold on to the latter one which leaves least-but-better-than-none satisfaction to us…
Somehow, people tend to search for the true life to them when reach a particular stage of life… But environment always set a limit to people’s pure desire of life…
After all, I can’t change anything and can’t escape from this either…
I still have to work hard in the best possible way…
And then everyday rushing from one place to another place… facing same group of people but still feeling there is an invisible distance with them… and enduring same dull yet less productive classes…
Initially, I thought the study method and system here would be more creative and lively, but time after time it seems that here is just as worse as Malaysia…When we are trying to achieve the necessity of current life which is marks of all kinds of exams and tests, we lose ourselves, lose creativity and bravery to try, but just go for the safest way, apply only what is demanded by scheme, memorizing like hell and after that, get a feel of emptiness…
Most lecturers here just give a list of questions for self-study…and then we prepare the notes ourselves and present or answer them in the next class… After all, they never give explanation and even worse, we never know whether our answers and concepts are actually correct or not… In the end, people who study here may tend to think that what they know is everytime absolutely correct and if uncontrol, they might become boastful and over confident…
Some teachers’ English standards are just poor and it seems that they never get and understand what we answer to them… To impress them and make them to think that your answer is correct and you are ‘smart’, the only way is by talking English very fast, fluently and confidently, even though you crap till Holland or anywhere else la… Therefore, in short, it means that you have to be FAKE… fake in pretending that you are so confident even though you actually don’t know the exact answer or anything…
Eventually, I have to adapt and force myself to go into this kind of style too, just for the necessity of life, but not the desire of life… But it really just gives an empty feeling in the end as if we actually know nothing…
Nevertheless, knowledge and skills determines the standard of any person in any field, but not the mark or grade that come from nothing in classes… But when we can have neither both of them nor the first one which apparently is most important, our only choice is to hold on to the latter one which leaves least-but-better-than-none satisfaction to us…
Somehow, people tend to search for the true life to them when reach a particular stage of life… But environment always set a limit to people’s pure desire of life…
After all, I can’t change anything and can’t escape from this either…
I still have to work hard in the best possible way…
|